I don’t do inspirational or motivational posts very often, however after this week I felt it might be appropriate. Last Friday I had one of my lowest lows as a writer. The following week was one of my most productive and successful ever. What happened?
A little over a week ago I received some bad news in a couple of ways. First I was rejected by an agent who I thought was sure to at least ask me for more pages on a query as it hit everything on her MSWL. Second I found out I did not get into the DFW Write Club Contest, something I expected was almost a given. These two events happened less than twelve hours apart and it put me in a bit of a funk. Why wouldn’t it? It appeared to me that the premise for my novel was fine as it was what the agent wanted, but I assumed the writing itself must have been bad. Why else would she reject? And as for the contest, I automatically decided people didn’t like my story. At least not enough to vote it into the first round.
The truth of the matter is I don’t know the actual facts behind these events. I don’t know why the agent didn’t want my particular manuscript or why not enough of the judges thought my story should go into the pile. That doesn’t mean they weren’t worthy or good. It just means they weren’t chosen. The point is I automatically assumed the worst. I thought that I was not only a bad writer, but I had wasted the last three years of my life doing something I wasn’t improving on. Because I didn’t know the facts, I wanted to make it emotional. I wanted to make it personal. Because if I could make it personal, maybe I would be pitiable, and maybe then the universe would give me a break.
But life isn’t like that. The universe isn’t balanced on a set of giant scales, waiting for a perceived injustice so it can dole out a helping of good luck. And taking it personally only hinders me from continuing to improve. It doesn’t even matter why I was rejected. What matters is I persevere. So I sat down and I wrote 1500 words that day. It was probably one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do, but I knew if I didn’t, I could potentially fall off the horse and take weeks to get back on. I’ve done that before and I don’t want to go back there. I also happened upon a set of new resources I hadn’t been using before: Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, The Anatomy of Story by John Truby, and author Chris Fox and his series of Youtube videos. Within three days of exploring each of these resources, my mindset had completely changed.
I used Psycho-Cybernetics for my mental health, The Anatomy of Story to develop my craft, and I’ve been watching Chris Fox’s videos for motivation. These three things combined have created some kind of revelation in me. And though I’m still exploring it, I know it worked because I managed to write almost 15,000 words in less than six days. I’ve never had that kind of productivity. Not only that, but I rewrote the first chapter of my current work I am querying and I managed a short story for my local writer’s group within the same time frame. IN ADDITION, I have completely changed how I look at writing. I used to look at it as a craft where I wrote one book a year, polished it, got it absolutely perfect and then waited for an agent to sign me. But I’m not so sure that’s my path anymore. I see this level of productivity in myself and I love it. I really enjoy writing and creating and I don’t think one or even two books a year will be enough. So my goals are shifting. And I feel better about not only myself, but my future and my success as well.
Maybe my low point happened at exactly the right time. Maybe I would have found all these things regardless of what happened. I don’t know. But for the first time I feel like I am in control, instead of allowing someone else to take the reins. And that in itself is worth more than I could have ever imagined.
I think you hit the nail on the head. This is such a great post! Bravo to you!